Throughout my life, I’ve valued Truth and Honesty. There were always some people who I knew I couldn’t be truthful with, but I usually recognized that as a problem – major or minor – and understood it. Now, I’ve been thrust into a situation where my previous conceptions of who I could be truthful with have been utterly destroyed. And it’s one of the worst feelings I’ve had in, well, some weeks at any rate. Being upfront, being honest, saying what I felt – all these things led me into a rather horrid situation, one I would have done anything to avoid has I realized my actions would cause it.
And yes, thinking about it…I believe I would have been not-entirely-truthful if it would have helped me avoid this quagmire which I am currently enamored with and encumbered by. And that’s hard to realize; it goes against so much of what I’ve thought I believed.
I never thought I’d say this, but right now I’d be happier if I’d deceived people who I like, trust, and admire. Truth sucks.