I realized today why squirrels run in front of cars. It has to do with gang initiations - like the human one where kids drive around at night with no lights on and kill people who flash their brights. The gangmember squirrels have the newbies run in front of an oncoming car in order to join. If the newbie survives, he's in. If not, ehh...
You may say to yourself, But squirrels are solitary creatures except when mating. And I would say to you, That's what they want you to believe.
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In other news, I hope that this squirrel revelation is the only thing that's not quite as it seems.